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And now i can't go back.This was started about 6 years ago more or less. i used to watch porn online (as every man on earth i think) and i met a couple at a internet forum who were looking for new experiences. They wanted to bein touch with people who could give them new ideas to try and so on, and i was interested, so i contacted them and we started to chat rather often, perhaps 3 or 4 times per month. They lived abroad, very far away, but because they only wanted it to be done by Internet, that didn't made any difference.Finally we ended being about 4 people who talked to them (some people of the beggining got bored because they didn't logged in often enought, or didn't had new pics or so often enought). i think i can say that, of all that bunch, i was the one who they trusted the most. Also, there was another man at the group who seemed to have the wildest ideas, like trying spanking, or chains or things like those... i think he felt it was easier for me to convince them to try. Cognitively, I seem to be more off center. My family is saying that I’m doing weird things. I have no clue what they’re talking about my left arm not included. Why would I say that? My anxiety expresses as some paranoia (That’s cool we’re old friends. It’s a awesome friend to have in any form of Law enforcement. He’s kept me from a beating many a time.) My anxiety also expresses itself as random jerks in my body and it gives my left arm a kinda of life on its own. When I stress it will draw itself up by my shoulder and my fingers do this thing where they deform like I’ve had a stroke.I was off my meds for about three days due to not having the money to get them. I wasn’t happy with the experience, My mental abilities regressed and the pain, I mean the real pain started coming back. What upset me is I discovered that without those pills my brain can’t function. So it’s not a matter of becoming normal again or any simulation of it. It is simply about functioning well enough not to shit.
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